Almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.

June beautiful June

2009-06-13T14:33:00.003+02:00

Well.. it is June, incidently it is also a rather beautiful day.

About a month ago we finally got the long awaited news. Its a girl :)
We've both settled for Marks choice in name - Emily - but I would still like her to have some funky middle-name. Cannot think of one yet ... suggestions welcome!

Emily is currently a bit chubby which seems to make me look further than I am. Nother scan on Tuesday should shed some light into the current state of affairs and re-confirm the due date.

Furthermore I am finally mobile. Yes! My lovely boyfriend bought me a car so I don't have to drag the fat belly up the hill to the coachstation anymore. Its so much easier and I don't have to get up at 5:30am anymore for an 8am start.

Just a quickie...

2009-04-19T15:17:00.006+02:00

All's well on the homefront. Job's going alright too but somehow I am struggeling with my finances. Main reson I think is that I have to take the National Express to and from work and that I simply don't like getting paid on a weekly basis.

We are supposed to get our contracts soon but we have been told that one for the last month at least.

Peanuts is doing fine. I had my second appointment with the midwife on friday and got to hear the baby's heartbeat. Its making a right load of noise and apparently I should be able to feel some movement soon.

Morning sickness is almost gone but I still get the odd spell. My downfall at the moment is constipation :(
Painful manouvers in the bathroom as of late, lead me to believe that I need to drink more water or eat more mushy food?

Counting the weeks now :) Four to go until the all important "Is it a boy or is it a girl" scan.

04/11/2007 Blog - Passing and Everyday Strangers

2009-03-26T15:40:00.001+01:00

I've been missing the 'book girl' lately, she used to sit in the upstairs front seat and would always read. I kept trying to peek, to find out what books she is into. Always imagined talking to her sometime and recommending books to each other.

edit:

I never told you! The 'Book Girl' haha, her name is Heidi and we ended up working in the same company in late 2008. We never really exchanged books but ended up in the Pub together a few times talking about current reads.

Peanuts!!!

2009-03-20T15:53:00.002+01:00

Its Charlie Brown?? An he gave quite the performance this morning :)

Technicolour Dreams

2009-03-16T13:58:00.008+01:00

Since I found out I'm pregnant I have dreamt every single night.
Most of the dreams I cannot remember but after the first few days I noticed the weird dreams I now try to remember them after waking up.

Some dreams I forget a few hours into the day. Of most dreams I keep hold of only bits.

The first dream I remember was a blue ring spinning around the sun for days, then the sun suddenly fizzled out and everybody waited for the world to end. A few nights ago I had a big belly and had to shield it from knife attacks. Two nights ago I cycled through Thailand and climbed mangroves. Last night I was a whale.

It all comes together - will it stay that way?

2009-03-10T20:13:00.002+01:00

The job hunt - up until now it was a case of utter desperation and not so pretty looking frustration. Yesterday though, I received a telephone call from an agency I registered with. Could I start tomorrow and could I get to Ringwood. Well of course I could start tomorrow but how do I get to Ringwood?

After 20min of bus, coach and train checking, I figured that there is no train. A bus that would require me to get up at 5:30am to arrive in Ringwood around 8:40am and a coach that would take 20min walk to reach and another 40min to get to Ringwood.

Coach option it was. This morning I was lucky though, Mark had work somewhere near and drove me to the Agency in Ringwood were I registered and met a few other girls that would start in the same company. We were told that from here it was another 15min walk to work. Some of the girls had cars so we distributed ourselves between them and drove down.

The day went great. We are a team of twelve and the first lot of about 36 people they are looking to employ on all sorts of basis's. We were introduced to Frank the german trainer and he basically told us about the company, what they do and what we would be doing. About 4:30pm they sent us home.

Fab! Easy! Just a pain in the bum to get to and back. But nothing a bit of car pooling can't fix.

So I sit at home, doing some homework like the good girl that I am when the phone rings. Katy from the agency called to check how it all went today. Well thats nice, I thought; finally an agency that actually cares how everything went. After a few minutes of discussing the days events Katy told me that the company is actually considering myself and another girl for team leader positions.

That kinda left me speechless! Of course that would be fantastic!

So now its - fingers and toes crossed - and don't get too excited! May all change again in a few weeks! Well it may by the time they figure that I'm actually 'two in one!'

Morning sickness and potty training

2009-02-25T17:45:00.004+01:00

Oh I had to giggle about the situation I found myself in this morning.
Being pregnant is kinda funny. Apart from the fact that I eat more than necessary at the moment I also seem to get morning sickness. Thats mainly morning, late morning, lunch time, afternoon, early evening and late evening.

So this morning I had breakfast as usual with a lovely glass of orange juice and just as I finished my juice, I realised its not gonna stay in. Over the next 30 min I gradually felt worse and worse and when it was finaly time, I ran to the bathroom.

I'm not going to elaborate on the details but finishing the sick bit I noticed I needed to pee. As you do in this situation I pulled my pyjama bottoms down, only to realise I need to turn round real quick cause there was another puke attack on its way. And then it happened hehe ...I peed myself while being sick...

So there I stand in the bathroom with my jammy bottoms round my ankles, in a puddle of pee like a three year old that didn't make it to the loo in time. Oh the joy!

Bedlam in full force ahead!

2009-02-19T22:01:00.003+01:00

Its the new year and I have so much to update you on!
First - I have moved. Bournemouth. Yes I'm back, who would have thought.

I had a few weeks of packing, dumping and charity shop disposal. A huge alcohol induced leaving do and then I left.

Second - I have moved in with Mark. Yes, thats Mark from six years ago, who would have thought. We sort of got in touch again last year and one thing led to another. Well it mainly lead to ...

Third - I am 8 weeks pregnant. Yes thats with Mark too, who would have thought!!!

Things are going topsy turvey at the moment. I have only found out that I'm pregnant this week.

The move was planned a while ago but the initial idea was - leave my well payed job on the island and find an alternative but just as well payed job in Bournemouth. I love it when a plan goes tits up!
The aim at the moment is - find a job! And if possible find a job before I start to show.

Now that I'm online again I will hopefully be able to update you on future bedlam on a more regular basis.

Lack of Tech and Xmas Prep

2008-12-08T13:49:00.004+01:00

Just popping my nose in to reassure that I am still breathing.

The lack of technic disallows me to blog at the moment and unfortunately it is considered rude to invade a friends livingroom, drink his tea and eat his biscuits, pretending to listen to their rambeling but really just visiting to use their computer (read blog number one, I did warn you, I am a crap friend!).

Life as usual is having its ups and downs and the end of the year draws closer by the day. I will have to find the time to sum this year up in more than five words before the last strike of the clock on New Years Eve.

Well the last few days have been eventful to say the least. Mark and I bought a Christmas tree - I will explain who Mark is on a separate occasion as it is a very lenthy story that deserves its own blog - and decorations which evidently cheered me up like a young reindeer! We are also discussing the christmas menu which is becoming a bit of a nightmare actually. We have different taste in all matters of life! I love sprouts and parsnips, he just about eats peas. He has OCD and I am a messy pup. He loves fast cars and five star hotels, I love Morris Minors and camping.

Figures huh? :)

Sesame Tea

2008-07-18T00:31:00.003+02:00

... just finished work in the pub, got home and made myself a well deserved cuppa. Usual proceedure; boil kettle, put teabag in cup, add water, three teaspoons of sugar and top up with milk. Let it brew, squeeze the bag, sorted.

Now then - first thought 'Hang on, there is four sesame seeds floating happily in my tea'
- second thought - 'Wahey at least its an even number!'
- third thought - ' Wait a minute, this isn't one of my teaspoons!'

- five minutes later - oi there is four sesame seeds in the bottom of my teacup - oh well at least its an even number ...

This is your life and its ending one minute at a time

2008-07-08T20:35:00.002+02:00

... another month has passed ...

still no passport, smoking like a chimney and as confused about myself and the world around me as ever.

I have started my new job beginning of June - ever the entusiast I am loving it!
Its been rather exciting. The opportunities, ideas and doors ahead of me seem to pile up on a daily basis. Since having to take a break from Uni and Geoff's departure from the island I've been pretty desultory. But this new job seems to engage my brain again and I'm relieved to say it is still in working order.

And then there is this guy I'm seeing. Well, thats a story and a half and I dont know whether its going somewhere. He's been away more than he has been around and the old saying 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' doesn't seem to apply. Currently it feels like a 'two steps forward, one back' situation and I keep telling myself that it wont last. Mistake?
Ahhhmmm you could say so but I have decided to call it 'securing myself for the push of the pedestal' on which he put me the first few weeks.
No point in kidding myself is there :)

Back in cyberworld

2008-06-08T23:19:00.005+02:00

...it hopefully wont have gone unnoticed that I haven't been around for over a month! Well unfortunately my monitor went a lovely shade of black and decided not to play anymore. It took me a whole month to get a replacement which was kindly sponsored by one of my mates.

So what did the time offline have in store - I'll tell ya. First of all I found out I have a social life - if I can just get my arse in gear and move it out of the house. Secondly I have been working two jobs over TT and not once managed to get to Douglas or anywhere near a beer tent. Third, I met Ranald and I like him, I like him a lot - almost as much as pancakes :)
You wonder what happened to Lee? Well, him being Lee he decided that as soon as I start seeing someone it would be a great idea to turn up and ask me out. I declined politely managing not to use the words fuck, wank, cunt or bastard and had the unfortunate pleasure to actually feel sorry for him as he left the building gutted.

So far things have worked out in my favour, work, money, men - it all seems to come back to me. And now my computer is working again I can feed my brain with rubbish and randomness as well as read up on the interesting lifes of other people.

Talking of rubbish and randomness - I have found a new favourite subject that started bruising my brain a couple of weeks ago when some clever clogs thought it would be a great idea to drunk talk philosophy with me.
I'm a bugger for knowing everything and nothing. I think we started off with religion and worked our way through evolution and ending up fishing around in quantum physics. He seemed impressed and got all excited when I started rambeling on about Schrodingers cat and Einsteins trains and decided he'd introduce me to the Copenhagen interpretation and MWI - I trust you people to read up on it and be as fascinated as I am :)

Ups, almost forgot the song of the day - well its song of the month really and I'll dedicate it to Ranald as its his Anthem :)
The Killers - Read my mind (check the video bar on top)

Sunday pint with friends and Tartan paint & skirtingboard ladders

2008-04-29T21:48:00.003+02:00

Last sunday I went up to the Glen Helen to have a pint with Scott and Del, good friends of mine and Russ. I havent seen them for a while and knew for a fact that it would be a great afternoon and evening. That lot always makes me laugh.

Next door to the Glen Helen lives a family with two sons. Before the Glen Helen re-opened, Russ and myself (as well as plenty of other people)helped Scott and Del to renovate the place and we got to know the family quite well. Since those days the two lads are always about. The younger one (Matthew)is a right rascal who I believe takes quite a shine to Scott. He'll do anything Scott tells him to do.

Scott having a wicked sense of humour always comes up with things he will get Matthew to do. He will send Matthew home to ask his dad for a skirting board ladder, a left handed screw driver or tartan paint.

Anyway on that sunday Matthew was about and demanded a little too much attention, so I decided to make him run home and come back while I would time him with a stop watch. He loved the idea and off he went - unfortunately he was back in no time. We started to set Matthew challenges to keep him away longer. So first we got him to bring us a mug out of the kitchen. And he did.
Del saw potential in this idea and uped the game. Next challenge was either one of dads socks or dads glasses.

Matthew was reluctant but when we started to offer him a pound for completing the challenge his eyes lit up and off he went, coming back with dads glasses!
Wow! Matthew told us that dad is in the garden and left his glasses inside - ahhh, ok so it was actually just a case of grabbing them.
So where is mum? Mum is in the livingroom watching TV.

Heheheh - next challenge.
Scott set that one - 'smuggle Jackie into the house and take a picture of her in the bathroom. Yeah right mate, no chance!
Run home, into the livingroom, take the remote of mum, change the channel and come back here with the remote control! He could earn himself a whole fiver if he completed that challenge.
Off Matthew goes and comes indeed back with the remote control! Telling us in excitement that he changed the channel and that mum wont be happy with him.
We of course stood by our word and gave him the fiver but kept the remote :) well for a while, Matthew looked slightly uncomfortable and wanted to get it back to mum quite quickly. So Del gives him the remote and as soon as he's out of the door we all have a go at her for giving in so easily.

Of course we judged to early, never trust Del! She is the worst prankster! She opend her hand and presented us with the batteries :) Well the whole thing went on for probably another 30min and we were in stitches. Del almost got Matthew to buy the batteries of her for the fiver he earned himself but we played fair and sent him on his way home with his hard earned money and the batteries.

Ahhh I love those guys. I can not think of a time when I have been out with them and I dont hurt the day after from laughing so much!

Kitlers!

2008-04-18T13:31:00.002+02:00

I think I just died laughing! Check this out and tell me its not funny:

http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com

Personally I think this one strikes the best resemblance

Lovely day with the ex husband

2008-04-15T01:20:00.002+02:00

... he picked me up about lunch time today and we thought we'd have a day out. So off we went to Castletown, had lunch at the beach. Of course Russ always takes his camera everywhere so the occasional photo session had to be anticipated.

After C-town we made our way up to Kirk Michael were I took him to the duck pond. Awesome walk that leads to this lovely pond occupied py masses of insane ducks that will attack you for any crumb in your pocket or infact the pocket itself.

Leaving the ducks and any limbs they picked off us behind we drove on to Ramsey, had a little photo session with an old vinyl player at the beach and then made our way back down South. By then it was early evening and Russ invited me for a few pints and a curry in Port St Mary. We had an awesome chat about how things are going. Unfortunately I also learned a lot more about a certain crazy person which worries me quite a bit. I told him to grow some balls etc and can but hope that our little chat will have helped him a bit. All in all I was very happy today and I'm glad we spent the day together. It was fun and I felt at ease with him which I havent really since we split.

I love him loads and care so much about him in my own little way and realised again how sad it is that I was unable to see, before we got married, that what I feel for him was never enough to make the marriage work. On the other hand I am glad to know that it will always be enough to still make a friendship work.

Finally divorced...

2008-04-13T21:33:00.002+02:00

...I have just come back from a job interview at the Falcon. Well I've got the job alright, starting tuesday at 8:30am - decent time, lovely collegue and hopefully something to lift my spirit again.

I have avoided to open my post box since thursday out of fear there might be unwanted bills in there. Low and behold there were unwanted bills as well as a letter from the High Court of Justice telling me that my divorce has been approved and my marriage was disolved officially on 9th April 2008 at 4:55pm.

Am currently celebrating with a cuppa tea. Called Russ, we congratulated each other and will meet for a pint tomorrow to mark the occasion :)

Yipee! I feel strangely free ... well I have been since we separated but this time I feel 'officially' free.

Geoff

2008-04-11T15:57:00.004+02:00

..now all the previous self pitty aside - I promised someone to dedicate a blog to them and here it is. Now just thinking about 'The Idiot' as I lovingly like to call him makes me squeeze a smile :)

Let me start of with a couple of simple facts:

A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real
friend could blackmail you with it.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them. A real
friend expects to always be there for you!

To be honest I could stop here but I wont, there is a lot more to say about my friend
Geoff.

Geoff has a beautiful mind and engages mine with everything he has to say. With him I can talk utter rubbish and we still understand the meaning without having to explain too much. I have only known him for three years and properly only for two years - since that christmas party and the hair of the dog day after. But since the first conversation I have known that he's a keeper. He's a shoulder to cry on, he's a mentor, he's a teacher, he's a comedian and entertainer and most of all he is someone I can trust completely. Sometimes I close myself down because of things that happen around me and sometimes I shut him out for a while but he will feel that something isnt right and even if I dont tell him the whole story he will be able to sense that there is more. Geoff will give it to me straight but never force his voice or opinion on me. He values my advice as I value his. He's always up for a laugh and is there when I need him. There is so much more I could say about him and so much more I could list why he is one of the most important people in my life but I shall stop right here and finish with a

Huge THANK YOU to my best friend, mate, buddy -
I love you lots!!!!!!!

I have lost my smile ...

2008-04-11T12:42:00.005+02:00

Things aren't going well for me at the moment. I have lost my job on monday and am struggeling to find a new one asap. My shower is bust again but luckily Lee is gone on holiday and left me the keys to use his for the next two weeks (I'm hoping that at least the shower will be sorted by then).

This morning I looked into the mirror and I couldn't smile. It looked rather painful, so I grabbed my stuff, made my way round Lee's and had a shower. I have just arrived back home realising my bank account is empty. Next paycheck wont arrive until 25th - I have one cheque for about 23 squid that I need to pay into my bank and thats it. I looked into the mirror again and noticed that I look worse than before.

Sometimes I think that everything is just slipping through my fingers and I can't control my life anymore. I sit down, drink a cup of coffee and try to think positive - but all that is going through my head is 'when am I going to get that call from any of the jobs I applied for?', 'will I have enough money to pay my rent and bills?' - No, I cant think positive anymore.

Worst of all I feel like I need to cry but if I do I will lose it completely.

Maybe it is time to pack up and go? I wish I had the courage but I haven't. I feel empty, sad and defeated and I know I have to pick myself up and carry on.

Now check this - writing all of the above has just given me a little kick and now I'm scared that as soon as I stop I will lose that little kick again.

I know things will work out fine again, I am just unable to handle the uncertainty I'm living in now!

Well I spoke to my mates who run a pub, hopefully they have some shifts to offer me and then there is the hotel round the corner - I'm hoping they are gonna get back to me with a 45 hour week in reception/bar - but please someone just call!!!!!!!!!

Song of the day: Jon Swift - Run River

Blog Spring Clean and island life

2008-03-30T18:50:00.003+02:00

...well I only pressed a button really and opted for the 'Harbour' look - thought it goes with living on an island.

Island life - well what is there to say about island life. I moved to the rock almost exactly 3 years ago. Time flies. This is altogether my tenth year in the UK and only yesterday I thought I am starting to look my age. Thankfully the lovely woman behind the Shopshite counter asked me for ID today and grinned at me when she realised I am 30. 'Well you look young' she said, to which I could only reply 'well thank you, I shall come and shop here more often'.
Anyway back to island life. When I came here 3 years ago, I hated the island. I hated not knowing anyone and I hated how road trips always ending about 2 hours after we left. I hated to see at least 4 girls in town wearing the same t-shirt I only just bought and I hated seeing 'waddlers' every morning, afternoon and evening. Waddling seems to be the national sport - its the funny power walking thing where you swing your hips like you are running away from your mambo dancing partner but you've danced so long you forgot to switch the hip movement off.

Then I realised actually all those things arent to bad because all in all the island is pretty awesome. I love the quirks, I love the landscape, I love the pubs and I love the people. You dont have to know anyone by name but you will still see the same faces smiling at you and recognising you anytime you leave the house. I went to feed the cats at my ex-husbands house last week and walked 20min to the next village. On the way back a random busdriver (I know a few but didnt know him!) just stopped and asked me if I wanted a lift back. He clearly knew where I was heading. and there is Bob the dog and his owner - I bump into them on my way home from work. Bob sees me coming and gets all excited. His owner is an elderly man who's eyesight is probably as crap as mine but when Bob gets excited the owner knows I'm approaching and waves :)

So there, I love the place I used to loath.

Bird Poo!

2008-03-30T18:26:00.003+02:00

What a beautiful day it is - no coat day - so I decided to have a quick shower and go down to the shop, get some fresh air and chicken to make lovely chicken sandwiches for the week. All well and good.

I left the shop and walked up the road when I felt a plop on my head. 'You gotta be kidding me!!!' yes, a bird decided to shit on my head, the bastard! I put my shopping bag down and felt my head, there it was oily, smelly bird dropping yikes!

I arrived at home and decided to share my experience and send a text to a couple of friends. Naturally they thought it was hilarious. One of my mates reminded me that bird pooing on you means good luck! Thats when it hit me. I bought a scratch card ...ohhhhh!!!!! ... so I had another shower, sat down with my scratch card and started revealing the cash prizes and ... holy shit!!!! I won!!!! nothing!!!! - nother urban myth uncovered!!!!

Easter ...

2008-03-19T11:41:00.002+01:00

four days to waste, nobody around, what to do?

Well the plan was to go away but the lack of passport and money is making it impossible to leave the island :(

So the plan is as follows;
~ pray for sunshine and money
~ go running in the mornings,
~ chill on friday and have dvd day
~ get up early and go for long hike on saturday
~ make lovely lunch and day of cleaning on sunday
~ more chilling on monday

Sounds all a bit lame I know but easy does it and I'm pretty sure something exciting is about to happen. I can feel it in my water ;)

On that note - Happy Bunny Weekend :)

I'll now gladly accept the title of 'Prize Idiot'

2008-03-18T14:29:00.003+01:00

It all went well - so I thought. He even managed to squeeze out a 'love you and wanna be with you' at the weekend... what happened since then???

Aparently yesterday was crunch day and he went back to his old antics. I found following e-mail in my inbox:

hi...wrote this a hundred times like your email...never reads rite!...so can I ask if we can be mates please..will save both of us heartbreak....of course I'm here 4 you as always ....sorry to piss you off jackie........lee xxx

Naturally I fainted - NO, I mean it, I literally fainted!

I am soooo fuckin angry with myself and with him and with myself. Mainly with myself for being a moron. Well, one good thing I guess is that I stayed weary and didnt trust the peace. I knew this would come eventually, was just a matter of time. Guess I was lucky this time.

Wow

2008-03-09T09:41:00.003+01:00

He amazes me again and again - he sent a message this morning inviting me for lunch... I asked him 'Have you read your e-mail? Are you sure you want to take me anywhere?' He said he read it pick up at 1:30pm.

...hmmm more update later

This is probably gonna end in tears!

2008-03-08T20:50:00.004+01:00

e-mail to Lee, sent just now - the answer is either gonna cause complete and utter distraction to my life or maybe just clear a few things up, either way I had to do it :(

You keep asking me for a story - well here is one ...which by the way is not based on you wanting alone time tonight. Its just an opportunity for me to sit down and think, as there is only shite on TV anyway :) ....

So much is on my mind, I dont know where to start.
Things dont seem to be the same anymore. I really love you, you know that and I want to be with you but this is not how.
The first time we broke up you told me that you are just not used to being with anyone and are probably better off on your own. It hurt but I understood.
I now know a lot more about you than I did then. At the moment I am feeling confused; dont know if I'm your girlfriend or just someone you can have sex with. And the closer it comes to your holiday, the more it creeps up on me to think, that to you I'm just an option.

I know you love Karen and I know (from good sources) that she was on the island only recently and the fact that you havent told me, leads me to believe that you are still hiding your feelings for her from me. I'm not angry about that, just hurt and you need to understand that I am fighting the urge to trust you less but it will eventually make me act in ways you may see as, like you said in the Whitestone, I've changed.

Beginning of this year I felt fine because I hadn't seen you for a while, I dated someone else for a few days until I found out I dont want to date someone else. So I retreated to being with myself, friends, ass kicking music and long walks. Then we met in the Whitestone and I realised how much I still feel for you. Sometimes even breathing is difficult in your presence. That night you told me so many things and only last week you said you wanted my kids ... but sometimes it just feels like you are insulting my intelligence. You know when to say the right things but you dont know how to back them up with reality - whatever happened to showing your feelings? I am not asking you to tell me that you love me but a kiss from time to time? I noticed that you dont kiss me anymore which in my mind reconfirms that you dont love me. You may feel strongly for me and I wish to believe that you think the world of me but I can only Hope that you feel something like love for me.

The other night when you checked your messages for my 'maaaaaashed potato and chicken' text, I glimpsed a message from someone saying 'I love you too' - which means you can and do love someone. These are the little things that tear my world apart.

Currently I feel like I have rejoined a losing battle and it scares me so much to think that I could be the one to get hurt again because I have felt the pain before.

If you decide to let go now because of me telling you how I feel and because it might freak you out, well there is nothing I can do. To lose you would shatter my heart but I've picked the pieces up before. I really wish you wont let go though and we can continue building on what we have, because all that scares me and all that scares you are things we can work through - thats what being with each other is about - not giving up on someone you believe in and love. And I dont want you to tell me for the sake of telling me that you love me and then tear my world apart. I want you to think about all of this and mean it if you say it.

Whatever your decision is, you and your blue belly button fluff will always hold a special place in my heart and I will always love you in one way or another. You are nice and you are smart, you make me laugh, you are awesome, lovely, gorgeous, irresistable, kind, considerate, funny, passionate, generous, you make me smile, you make me want to be better, you make me love myself, you make me feel all tingly, you make me wanna scream and shout and kick stones and then you make me want to giggle insanely. And if I cant be with you then I want to be your mate and nothing more - this time that is one thing we have to make sure we stick to because I really dont want to lose you as a friend and the transition between love and frienship is a blurry path for me so I am counting on your support and good judgement!
xxx

I'm shitting bricks sending this!!!!! and have pressed the cancel button about 10 times now

Edit: I made myself feel good with this - after a great convo with my best mate and subtle hint from Mark

I want to take the board out!!!!

2008-03-08T15:07:00.002+01:00

god I'm so starved of surfing its unreal! I keep watching every little ripple outside my front door thinking 'this could be good to play with' :(

The End

Just a little Tristan / G.Love and Jason Mraz before I go to the pub :)

2008-03-01T20:47:00.002+01:00

this one is hilarious :D towards the end - cracker ... take the time to watch it!!! :)

Milkshake distribution successful!

2008-03-01T18:15:00.002+01:00

Ha, I am a smug bugger and extremely pleased with myself. I have finaly finished painting my livingroom! It took me almost two months for crying out loud but that was no fault of mine!
Last time I run out of paint (milkshake - wilko's silk emulsion)I went to the shop to be told 'I'm afraid but that exact colour is not available anymore in our store'. You what??? I have a wall that needs this exact colour! Of course I went home in a droop and made plans to recoordinate my whole colour scheme. Finally worked it all out this morning and off I go to the shop to find ... milkshake! :O bastard liars! Needless to say I stocked up to paint the town!

I also bought moonlight gloss for the doorframes, window sills and radiators - ha I am prepared. I also bought a new roller but wasnt prepared for the fact that I bought a medium roller for a small tray, jeez whats with the different sizes. Why cant painting be made easy? Small trays for small people? One size does it!

Never mind, I have a lovely livingroom which still lacks decent curtains and a couch but at least I dont have brown grease dripping off the walls and green moss on the window anymore.

Next project bathroom - blue ceiling, turqoise tiles and a rust free radiator to accompany the new shower my landlord sponsered so kindly (after the neighbours knocked my door down to hint 'its dripping down my ceiling'). I reckon I might get him to give me a new carpet or laminate throughout the flat. Bring it on!

Pint time - I deserve one!

Song for the day: this lot accompanied me while painting

Went for a walk and kicked some stones!

2008-02-23T21:47:00.004+01:00

I don't need to be anything other than a prison guard's son
I don't need to be anything other than a specialist's son
I don't have to be anyone other than a birth of two souls in one
Part of where I'm going is knowing where I'm coming from

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me

I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by a deadly crisis everywhere I turn
Am I the only one to notice?
I can't be the only one who's learned

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think about me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me

Can I have everyone's attention please
See, not like this and that
You're gonna have to leave
I came from the mountain, the crust of creation
My whole situation made from clay, dust, stone
And now I'm telling everybody

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I'm trying to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me!

Almost lost it!

2008-02-18T13:23:00.005+01:00

I hate this constant battle with my emotions and I knew for a fact that I shouldnt have gone out, because I felt it in my guts that he would be there. All went fine and the evening was fun until he started talking bullshit about how I changed and that he misses me and hoped I would turn up. Why did I even listen??? I told him I never changed, I was always and still am the same person. Its his lies that made me suspicious and stopped me trusting him, thats what changed us.
Then he said he cancelled the holiday and I thought maybe he actually means what he is saying... but he didnt :(

The day after when I told him that I didnt believe that he cancelled the holiday he had the cheek to tell me that he never said that. What he apparently said was - he thought about cancelling the holiday.

Stupid, stupid, stupid person that I am, I believed everything he said and am now paying the price. I did fine for two months without hurting inside or falling over myself by the sight of him - why am I sitting here now debating with myself how I could have just ignored all of it and not believed a word. Well at least for once I figured it out straight away and not just weeks after lying to myself :)

Sorry G for not talking about it but this is one thing I am just soooo tired of talking and analysing. I think its easier to just get on with it and not get into the old 'wallow in self pitty state' I used to feel so comfortable in.

Pre-Flight nerves

2008-01-29T00:06:00.000+01:00

I'm a pathetic wreck tonight. My fear of flying is getting worse with every journey I take off this island. Shakey hands, unable to sleep days before I actually board any plane, unable to pack until the last minute with the hope that if I dont pack I dont have to fly. Having packed means I'm ready and I am sooo not ready.
I have reached a stage were I actually planned ahead to the point that I have saved a text message ready to be sent in case something happens. the text message is simple - there's a box with letters in my flat and the letters will have to be distributed to friends and family. They are full of things I either keep forgetting to tell people, things that I should say but never have or dont feel the need to say because its sentimental shit that shouldnt really be said.

I mean honestly I enjoy life far too much to be worrying about stuff like that but I certainly dont want to be unprepared!

Well I dont know, this doesnt help much either. I've cheered myself up with music tonight and found this quite beautiful video to a quite lovely song ...

Sleepless night again...

2008-01-27T03:38:00.000+01:00

It is now 2:36 Sunday morning and I am watching shite on my little portable TV, I think the creators of the programs have handed the crack pipe round again. Anything that's on is either unwatchable or a repeat of something I swear, I saw last week and the week before that.

Now talking of TV - since I moved into my flat I sort of made do with this above mentioned portable TV, which is fine when you get used to leaving your glasses somewhere in reach. Today a mate came round with a free of charge 'proper' TV as he calls it. Well it fit through the door, that is something I couldn't say about my couch on moving day. Unfortunately this TV is a monstrosity, it would not fit onto the sideboard, meaning I spent my day rearranging my entire (I'm making this place sound huge) living room.
After an hour of moving desk, computer, cables etc and trying to push the monster into a suitable place, plugging various unnecessary cables into the back and almost breaking my back when I tried heaving it onto its stand (yes it requires a stand!), it turns out the thing doesn't work!

Grumpily I thought 'never mind at least it has a built in DVD player'. So I started looking for a DVD, put it in and who would have thought, it made noise! I prepared myself for an afternoon with some favourites. Haven't seen Clue in a while:
"And who are you?"
"I'm Wadsworth Sir, the butler"
"What do you do"
"I butle"
Great, it comes to the menu and I press play, and what does it do? Nothing... it stuck, the friggin choice button doesn't work nor did any other button (and yes I checked the batteries!). So much for the new big TV with built in DVD player!

I told a friend of my misfortune and you know what she came up with? Some very attractive alternative uses for that useless TV of mine. One of them was - take the bits out and make it into an aquarium or a chair of sorts. I told her this doesn't solve the waste of space problem. To which she replied I should take it outside and hook myself up with a webcam, so the people that pass my building can see what I'm up to in my top floor flat. Sort of a Big Brother for the neighbourhood. Even though this made no sense whatsoever I thought it was a rather excellent idea and needs following up.

Almost 3am I think I better make an attempt of catching a few hours sleep, otherwise I'll find myself sitting here at 8am still going on about the possible use of my brand spanking new and non functional TV.

Any further suggestions of usage will be appreciated.

I'll leave you with the song of the day: 'Simple as it should be' - Tristan Prettyman

Bandits

2008-01-18T20:17:00.000+01:00

...one of my favourite movies with two of my favourite songs and I almost forgot :(

this one is great when you are down but need to be strong - sentimental shit - as she should say before the video ends :) god I love music ... gotta pick up that guitar of mine...

Sleep ...

2008-01-17T23:49:00.000+01:00

edit: I promised to clear some things up that are slightly confusing, hope it makes more sense now dear :)

... I should really be trying some of that but my sleeping pattern has somehow disintegrated into random nights (and sometimes days) of doing things I cant even talk about. And then there is nights of no sleep due to mother nature blowing the roof off over my head.
Which one do I prefer... definitely the first.
On the other hand I think I might just be getting myself into trouble with that one. Why? Well if I recap on my New Years Resolutions I think one of my aims was to get my emotions in order and right now I can feel them slipping slightly out of my hand like a bunch of marbles. I'm having trouble gathering them back into their little bag.

Now does this mean I have failed on resolution number two as well? No! Its only 2 weeks into the year and I still have a long way to go, just wish my best buddy was around to give me some useful and adult(ery) advise especially about one marble (If you read this - No, this blog is not about public transport or South Africa! Its IT related - bout time you get here!!!).

To stick with the theme - song of the day: Ben Harper - When its Good

Random thoughts while painting walls...

2008-01-17T21:09:00.000+01:00

- funny how your thoughts wander when you are engrossed in something as mundane as painting a wall.

Now that I've started typing I dont even fully remember what I was thinking while happily swinging my paint brush and roller accompanied by mind blowingly bad singalong to Ben Harper - maybe I should share one of his awesome songs instead of rambeling on about how to paint a wall?

Oh ok here's a little clip, now you just have to imagine me singing, swinging and painting in my knickers and a t-shirt haha, enjoy :)

New Years Gym Invasion or My thoughts are with you dear friend

2008-01-07T20:53:00.000+01:00

Argh!

I could leave at that really but I guess its good to talk about it ;)

I thought I'd try my luck and visit my favourite machinery tonight. Me and the treadmill are an item! The treadmill knows me and I know the treadmill. But to my horror and its dispare we havent been able to sample the delights of togetherness for days now. Everytime I arrive some random stranger slaps their big feet with their horrible gleaming white new running shoes over my beloved walking belt. I can hear it screaming in pain and see it going sluggish in fear, whimpering at me 'SAVE ME'!!! How can I save my friend from the abuse?

When the time comes and those disillusioned people realise that their New Years Resolution of daily gym visits turned into weekly visits, monthly visits and then no visits at all ... by that time, my friend the treadmill will be worn and mistreated like a favourite pen someone found and used. When you get it back it adjusted itself to that other persons handwriting and with your use it stumbles over the page producing nothing but wonky and quivering letters.

The treadmill will throw me off like a scared pony and I'll have to tame it all over again.

Song of the day: Pink Floyd - Wish you were here

Walks in the Wind, getting by without cigarettes, scouting for girls

2008-01-05T15:59:00.000+01:00

I just got back from a very long and beautiful walk. I take them a lot recently, maybe its substituting the daily trip to the gym - New Year is a bastard for gyms getting really busy, so stayed away for a while. Anyway I am a little frozen and could hardly move my mouth, when I went to the shop on the way back, as I asked for a weeks bus pass. All I could do is mumble and apologize for the horrible cracking sound my jaw seemed to produce when I repeated my request.
But back to the walks. I really find it quite enjoyable fighting my way up the hill against the wind and highly amusing watching other people being blown about. Long haired people (as myself) really have a hard time seeing where they go while constantly brushing hair out of their faces. I myself almost ended up having a close encounter with a road sign while being busy pulling hair out of my throat. Maybe I'll wear a hat next time.
The most beautiful part of where I live is the sea. I leave my front door and have the bay in front of me. I'm desperately waiting for one or two surfer to turn up as I'd love to take my board out. Just a little apprehensive of going in on my own.

Now then, smoking... my first new years resolution. I have failed already :( I shall continue to make an effort of smoking less and eventually giving up but I have failed in producing the willpower to quit cold turkey. No more on that subject right now, I am too embarrassed.

Scouting for girls - what a nice little band, not really my kinda music but their song 'She's so lovely' made me laugh last night while out in the pub with a mate. I wouldn't even have cared about the song but there is one line that seemed to suddenly raise in volume and stared at me with a big fat grin.
'She's flirty, turned 30, isn't that the age a girl gets really dirty'
Cant help but think that me having turned 30 on boxing day might not have been that much of a bad thing? ;)

Song of the day: Ben Lee - Is this how love's supposed to feel?

Almost 2008!

2007-12-29T19:47:00.000+01:00

First of all my apologies to you lovely people (who are as far as I am aware Geoff and Anonymous). It has been a while since my last blog but in all fairness not much happens when you live on an island ;)

So yes it is almost there - the big turn - the New Year - the new beginning. I dont know about you but I always get mixed feelings about this time of year. On one hand I am excited because I know that things will get better. On the other hand I also know that I wont wake up on the 1st of January and suddenly my life will be full of meaning, plans and good fortune ... and still I cant help but feel it might just happen.

So what are my New Years Resolutions. Well I dont usually bother with them and have to say this year I wont either. There is a couple of things I want to do though and those have only come up because I am 30 now and I think it is time for some fundamental changes. The first, the hardest and the one I am most determined about is giving up smoking. It kills me only thinking about it but it is time *puts foot down*. The second would probably be getting a grip on my emotions. I know thats somehow the stupidest thing I could think of changing, I mean how do you change the way you feel in different situations. Well I shall have a go at not getting caught up in the whirlwind of emotions that seems to come over me quite often. Its a good whirlwind but often clouds my judgement. So there.

As for the actual event of NYE - I have no plans yet. Should I end up sitting at home watching Jools Holland so be it but one thing I really want to do this year and that is walk up Bradda Head and watch the sunrise.

And on this note - I wish you all a very happy New Year - may it be full of exciting adventures, great new things, much love and plenty of happiness :)

Song of the day: Finley Quaye - Spiritualized

=/

2007-12-06T00:55:00.000+01:00

Argh he is so hot, awesome, lovely, gorgeous, irresistable, kind, considerate, funny, passionate, generous, he makes me smile, makes me laugh, makes me want to be better, makes me love myself, makes me proud, makes me want a new start, makes me feel all tingly, makes me want to giggle insanely and when he's gone all the colours fade and I still have to learn not to make him a priority, when to him, I was only an option.

He doesn't know that I know about her and he doesn't know that I found out he's been lying all along. It makes me sad that I trusted in everything he said and I had to realise it was all just meaningless rubbish. My own fault. We are friends but me knowing so much and not being able to ask him about it is sometimes making even friendship difficult.

Paradoxes of our Age - Dr Bob Moorehead

2007-12-06T00:41:00.000+01:00

We have taller buildings, but shorter tempers;
wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints;
we spend more, but have less we buy more, but enjoy it less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families;
more conveniences, but less time;
we have more degrees, but less common sense;
more knowledge, but less judgment;
more experts, but more problems;
more medicine, but less wellness.
We spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk too much, love too seldom and lie too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life;
we've added years to life, not life to years.
We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor.
We've conquered outer space, but not inner space;
we've done larger things, but not better things;
we've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul;
we've split the atom, but not our prejudice;
we write more, but learn less; plan more, but accomplish less.
We've learned to rush, but not to wait;
we have higher incomes; but lower morals;
more food, but less appeasement;
more acquaintances, but fewer friends;
more effort, but less success.
We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication;
we've become long on quantity, but short on quality.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion;
tall men and short character;
steep profits, and shallow relationships.
These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare;
more leisure and less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.
These are days of two incomes, but more divorce;
of fancier houses, but broken homes.
These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.
It is a time when there is much in the show window, and nothing in the stockroom.

The Empty Bungalow

2007-12-03T16:58:00.000+01:00

Song of the day: This is the Thing - Fink

Been packing and moving things about all day and now I'm sitting here in an almost empty bungalow on my own and I feel sad and scared.

I've been trying to work out why I have been carrying this weight in my chest all day. I should be happy - new beginnings! New job, new flat, new people - I've done it all so many times in the last ten years and it was always exciting. Today it is not. Today I just feel tired of everything.

Maybe it is knowing that the cats will be going tomorrow, maybe I have become too used to not being on my own. Maybe this time there is more endings than beginnings.

I know I'm going to be fine. Next week this time things will be as bright as summer sunshine but for now I just want to curl up under a rock and sleep. Somehow I cant even squeeze a tear out at the moment and I so badly just want to cry.

The World's going mad!?

2007-11-29T14:30:00.000+01:00

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/7118245.stm

Ok first of all I would like to clarify that I am not racist! I am a great believer in peace, I live by the motto 'Stay Human', for me every person is the same no matter what race, religion, sex or skin colour.

BUT this is just driving me crazy! And angry! Yes, angry! More and more I come to see Islam as a big bully. Why all this madness about a teddy bear being named Mohammed? Seriously, I dont get it. I honestly dont understand in what way this is offensive to a religion.
20 out of 23 children chose the name - 20 children voted for a bear to have the name Mohammed and now the teacher who happens to be a Christian is being prosecuted and will either go to prison or receive 40 lashes. Huh????

Seriously RELIGION should no longer be available as a mask for mental illness, people who think they talk to an all powerful overlord and base their lives on an ancient book written by someone who heard voices, badly need at least basic counselling.

Added:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/7121025.stm

'Kill her'
The marchers took to the streets after Friday prayers to denounce the sentence as too lenient.
The protesters gathered in Martyrs Square, outside the presidential palace in the capital, many of them carrying knives and sticks.
Marchers chanted "Shame, shame on the UK", "No tolerance - execution" and "Kill her, kill her by firing squad".

Christmas Cheer or Crimbo Carnage

2007-11-24T13:11:00.000+01:00

Christmas Staff Party. Tonight. Weeks away from December. So I went to the shops in my lunchbreak, the most annoying thing about November is that every shop starts to put up christmas decorations and every time I go to the local supermarket stupid Mariah Carey is telling me in a high pitched voice that all she wants for christmas is me.
Stalker!
Come 1st December I am going to be entirely sick of christmas which is a little of both - a good and a bad thing.

The good thing, I will not overspend on christmas presents because I am not in the mood to fight with old ladies over sex toys from Ann Summers, I will not have to push my way through masses of 'happy' christmas shoppers, I will not have to queue for items that I think are great and as soon as I get home I will not have to realise that I bought complete and utter rubbish, I will not have to nurse my hands for weeks because I will not have handles of overfilled plastic bags cut the circulation to my fingers.

The bad thing, all the just mentioned will happen in one day - 24th December when panic is going to strike and I will run into town trying to find the perfect present. Beating old ladies out of my way with their own walking canes, knicking toys from kids in prams who's mothers just picked the last decent gift of the shelf and grinned at me while doing so. Push father christmas out of the way to get into the shop before they decide to close it.

Ahhhhh they joys of christmas. Whatever happened to that warm, fuzzy feeling I got when I was a kid?

Passing and Everyday Strangers

2007-11-24T11:55:00.000+01:00

How many random strangers enter our lives in a day? Hundreds most likely. Yet occasionally someone comes along whom you can't take your eyes off and you feel a deep need to know them. I'm not talking about the flashy blonde chick with the big rack or the fit guy in the versace shirt, I'm talking about the mostly average looking person who you feel a weird connection with, almost as though your paths were meant to cross. You feel compelled to meet them, to learn about them, to find out why they were where you were at that exact moment in time, yet your encounter was so fleeting you never actually do. For days they play on your mind, you imagine another 'chance' meeting, so that this time you can say something, you even entertain ideas of going back to the same place at the same time hoping they'll chance by again. yet you know this won't happen. Eventually they fade from your mind, however the feeling of missed destiny lingers..........

Then there is also the Strangers you see everyday and you still never talk to them unless one day something happens that affects all of you and you will be 'forced' to speak to them. As you might have gathered, I take the bus a lot and that is where I spend my time 'getting to know' people in my own weired way. Let me introduce you to some of my 'Strangers':

The Port St Mary Lady - is always on the bus before I get on and always sits near the front, has a beautiful face, strikes me as slightly eccentric, wears funny themed socks, brings a soapy cloths with her so she can clear the steamed up bus window - hence I got in a habbit of sitting behind her ;) she is usually on the same bus as me on the way home after work, eating some sort of cereal or chocolate bar

Castletown Mum - very pretty blonde, always smiley, smoker, has two kids I think, they used to wait for their bus on the opposite side to hers. When she gets on the bus and the bus starts leaving, the kids would run along the road waving and shouting 'love you!!!!!!'

Ballasalla Guy - geeky looking fellow, very well organised I imagine, used to wear a red fleece until it got cold, gets on the bus and swaps his 'stick IN ear' headphones to comfortable 'put ON ear' headphones, sits next to me sometimes

other randoms -
Port Erin Hat guy (always wears black hat and black long coat),
Port Erin couple (she files her nails sometimes, he always asks if she is ok, they kiss before one of them gets off the bus),
Port Erin older gentleman, I guess he's retired but still works for the fun of it, knows quite a few people on the bus, friendly face
Castletown lunch bag guy, always carries his lunch in a plastic bag, sometimes gets on bus with girlfriend
Ballasalla paper guy, always gets on bus carrying a paper, definately smoker, slightly weathered face but fairly good looking for his age (whatever that might be)

I've been missing the 'book girl' lately, she used to sit in the upstairs front seat and would always read. I kept trying to peek, to find out what books she is into. Always imagined talking to her sometime and recommending books to each other.

Song of the day: Xavier Rudd - Messages

Perpetual Serenity

2007-11-23T14:03:00.000+01:00

In my books there is no beauty that can measure up to an autumn sunrise.

I sat on the bus this morning and I swear if I was religious I would have said I had been touched by god. My eyes filled with tears and I felt like a right fool but I refused to hide or swallow those tears. I wanted to embrace this whirlwind of emotions, simply because I have not felt as one with myself as I did then, in a bit of a long time.

The whole day seems to be continuing like this. I have been smiling without reason and I feel almost uncomfortably happy.

All this accompanied by todays song: The Polyphonic Spree - Together we are heavy.

P.S.: I am pre-menstrual, this 'up' wont last, tomorrows blog will be about the invinite and dark abyss of bad luck.

Strange hairy little Man on bus!!

2007-11-22T14:41:00.000+01:00

And while I'm at it, here's the story of the above mentioned:

Ok, this happened to me a while back on the bus - I am not kidding it was hysterical!!
I get on the bus and as always its almost empty - so I go to the top level and sit near the front in a window seat, as always. I am busy plugging my earphones in my ears when this little hairy man in a suit sat himself next to me ... well almost on top of me. I turned my head as I am suprised that the bus should be full and amazed I was to find it still as empty as before.
I looked at the little man, he lookes at me, looks straight ahead and just huffs like I'm in his way.
WTF??? I plugged my earphones back in and drifted off in my own little world when the hairy little man starts talking: 'Excuse me, where do you get off?' I wasnt sure if this meant he was interested or he wanted me to move - puzzled I replied 'Castletown'.
Nothing, no answer to that ... so I plugged my headphones back in.
'So does this bus stop in Port Erin?' I didnt hear the question because I caught the last tunes of my favourite song. 'Pardon?' I asked. 'Does this bus stop in Port Erin?' he asked me again. 'Ahm, yes - first Castletown square and then another 10min to Port Erin.' He huffed and puffed to my answer like it was my fault and I should go and make the driver go faster.
Anyway the whole thing went on like this - he asked me questions of no importance or relevance everytime I just plugged my earphones back in. At some stage I REALLY believed this was a setup!!! The questions were as random as - So is this the airport ?(there were about 5 signs on the way to it and the planes on the airfield next to us should have given it away - not to mention the sign over the main entrance! I wonder if this man ever gets the full effect of alphabet soup!?)), Is the weather always like this? (Of course it is not, it is meteorologically impossible for weather to always be the same). Is Tescos open 24hours? (Was that a rhetorical question?). I'm not from the Island you know? (I dont know but I gathered.)
By that time I could hardly keep serious - this man was unreal. He kept huffing and puffing like the island and everything on it was a waste of his time. I am not sure wether he tried to annoy me on purpose and for a reason but the huffing and puffing turned him just comical.

Raindrops

2007-11-22T14:30:00.000+01:00

I've written this a while ago and it just makes me smile everytime I stumble across it. So I'll share it :)

I thought snowflakes where the greatest thing ever but raindrops are just as mad.... I just found myself completely mezmorised and nearly forgot to get of the flipping bus :-)
They just landed on the window and with the movement of the bus slid down simultaniously but all still very individual. Almost like they had their own way and knew exactly where they where supposed to end . Sadly some of them just run down the inside of the window - collecting in the rubber rim and ending up in a puddle next to my feet .

Chapter One

2007-11-22T13:17:00.001+01:00

This is me. Nobody special, just a spec in the big wide world of blogging.

I guess this will be the first of many random rambelings on the Interweb.

I assume in good time it might also just become the link between procrastination from my part and useful updates for friends and family.

I hereby admit and publicly own up to the fact that I am a lazy sucker. I never call, I am unable to keep up replying to e-mails, I have no idea where the nearest postbox is, I forget birthdays and anniversaries and I hate flying (which is not of advantage if you live on an island). These are the reasons why my family and friends only hear from me once a month. Often less than that. It is pathetic I know. Any suggestions on how to be a better daughter, granddaughter, godmother, friend will be highly appreciated!